1. People With Too Much Money
There are a lot of products out there which are marketed almost solely to the 1% who have way too much money than they know what to do with, and the Apple Watch fits this niche just perfectly. At $350 for the basic model, there is no other smartwatch on the market more expensive, and no better a product for the rich to show off the fact that they are earning much much more than you.
2. Gangsta Rappers
As a subset of the rich, but with even worse fashion sense, gangsta rappers fit the mould of the kind of person what would buy into the Apple Watch. The 18-karat gold housing and clasp is exactly the kind of bling you want to be rocking in the Trap. In addition, the watch’s time keeping and messaging functions make it the perfect accessory to drug and arms trafficking and/or getting ‘turnt up’.
3. Die-Hard Apple Fans
The are a certain subset of people, who through some peculiar cognitive disorder, strongly attach themselves to a brand. We see this with many companies, (Nike, Gucci, Prada, etc.) but perhaps no company has more of a cult-like following than Apple. These are the people who line up days to get the latest products, and those who, no matter the product, so long as it carries that white Apple logo, would make a purchase.
4. Low Intensity Sports Enthusiasts
The Apple Watch is a great device for tracking your activity. Heart rate, steps, position, it can do it all. Of course the fact that the device is only ‘splash proof’ means that any sports involving water, or indeed any where you could work up a considerable sweat, are a no go area. Regardless, enthusiasts of golf, curling, lawn bowls, and e-’Sports’ will find the watch a perfect fit.
While the Apple Watch is not quite retro, its could still be a hit with hipsters. Not cool enough to be considered cool by the mainstream, the device could see itself being worn as an ultra-deep, creative and possibly (we aren’t sure) ironic deconstruction of a modern society’s attachment to flashy trinkets with little practical value. Apple should make sure those straps are vegan.
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